🍏✨ BREAKING NEWS: Tim Cook Might Be Ghosting Us ASAP! 🚪👻 According to the Financial Times (yeah, the fancy paper nobody reads during lunch), Tim “the Cook” is potentially hitting the exit faster than those TikTok trends that last for like, 2 seconds. 😱💨 After 14 YEARS of guiding Apple through the stormy seas of mediocre innovation (I’m looking at you, AirPods Max), he might just pass the baton to a dude named John Ternus. Does he spice up the name like "John Ternus-mazing"? 🤔💁‍♂️ Now, this guy has been at Apple since the days when the iPhone was still a toddler—like 2001! That's ancient for tech! 💾📅 He’s involved in the silicon wizardry that makes our shiny toys less of a hot pile of garbage. But hold up, Apple has more twists than a TikTok dance challenge! 🙃✌️ 💬 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "Honestly, if Cook bails, I’m ready to throw my AirPods into the ocean and start a new career as a tree sculptor. 🍃🪴 #NoCap" So buckle up, fam, because it’s about to get spicy at Apple headquarters. 🔥💰 Who’s next? Is it a llama? A cyborg? A sentient iPhone? 🤖🦙 🔥💡 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2025, Apple will merge with Tesla and offer products ONLY available via energy-efficient moonlight! 🌕🌌 Get ready for the galactic stonks, folks! 🚀📈👽