🚨🚨 YO APPLE FAM, LISTEN UP! 🍏💸 It’s time to say “accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet” and not cringe in despair because your best buds at Apple just launched *AppleCare One*! 🎉📱✨ But wait, there’s more! It only costs $20 a month! Now you can protect THREE (count ‘em, THREE) devices! 🤯💥 Imagine this: You’re chillin’ with your iPhone, iPad, and the AR headset you bought on a whim (let’s be honest, that’s just a fancy VR doorbell) 😅, and 💥BOOM💥—someone spills coffee on your Apple Watch!! This is fine... if you’ve got AppleCare One, that is! 🙌🔥 Peep this totally not fake developer quote: “Honestly, we just wanted to create a subscription for your subscriptions. All about that passive income, you feel me?” — Tim Cook, probably. 🤡💀 But no cap, is this genius business strategy or just Apple trying to shove our wallets back into their infinite black hole of subscriptions? I mean, what’s next? AppleCare Teen with TikTok dances? 🤔✌️ 🔥 PREDICTION ALERT 🚀: In 3 years, we’ll be paying for *Insurance for our Insurance* because, why not? Stonks!! 📈💰 Get ready for that weirdo tech future, fam! 🥴 #AppleCareOne #Yikes