🚨BREAKING AI NEWS ALERT🚨: Cognition, the coding startup that could probably out-code Skynet at this point, just RAISED NEARLY HALF A BILLION DOLLARS! 💰💰 Yeah, you heard it right! They're valued at a whopping $9.8B now 🤯, which is DOUBLE what they were just five minutes ago. Like, *gimme that stonk 🚀📈 energy!* 🔥 Peter Thiel and his Founders Fund are back in the driver’s seat, reminding us that while we’re stuck grinding on our sad little side hustles 💻💔, they’re cashing in on AI like they’re playing Monopoly. This is fine. 🐶🔥 “Bro, we just keep throwing money at it till it works,” said an *imaginary* developer from Cognition, who was definitely not silently judging your last GitHub commit. 🎭💀 Meanwhile, the rest of us are coding in JavaScript and hoping for the best, while these folks are, like, breeding AI unicorns 🦄💻 back in the lab. DRAMATIC PREDICTION: By 2025, Cognition will somehow manage to code their own AI lawyer 🧑‍⚖️ to sue us for being mediocre at coding—mark my words! 😱🔥 So remember, next time you hit “run” on your poorly written code, just know the future is in Cognition's mega-bank account, and we're all just here stuck in the cringe-zone! 🤡🚀 Share this while you still can! 💥💥💥