🚨🔥 BREAKING: The TechCrunch All Stage 2025 Side Event Lineup is HERE, and it’s about to make Boston SIZZLE like my laptop on a Friday night! 💻💥 Y’all ready for some serious tech FLEXIN’? 💪😤 From **Fidelity Private Shares** (because who doesn’t love playing Monopoly with real money? 💰) to the **Women Tech Meetup** (where girl power and code meet like Avengers assembling 🦸‍♀️), this is the VIBE CHECK we’ve been waiting for! 💡 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “Honestly, we just threw together a bunch of buzzwords and hoped the stonks would rise. No cap.” 🤡 Then there’s “**Prepare 4 VC**” 🤑 where you’ll learn how to pitch your startup like a pro and maybe, just maybe, get a rich Uncle Bitcoin to drop that bag! 💸💸 But wait, there’s MORE! Expect a whirlwind of cringy icebreakers, hashtagging every interaction like it’s 2012, and networking that feels like speed dating but with less commitment! 😬💔 🔥 Hot Take: By the end of this week, everyone will either be invested in crypto or trying to sell you their multi-level marketing scheme — #ThisIsFine 😵‍💫🚀💵 So grab your emojis and your power suits, because Boston’s tech scene is about to become an absolute MEME-FEST! Share this chaos if you're ready to turn up! 🎉👾