🚀💀 Hey fam, NASA just dropped the *literal* most exciting space news since mankind decided to hurl metal tubes into the void—BRACE YOURSELF! 🛸🌌 Boeing’s Starliner is back, and it’s officially just a glorified UPS truck for space! 📦🚫 No astronauts, no dreams, just cargo shipping vibes! #SpaceFedEx In a plot twist even Rick Sanchez would find boring, NASA’s like, “Yeah, we’re gonna launch this bad boy no earlier than April 2026,” which gives us just enough time to lower our expectations to an all-time low. 🤡💔 Seriously Boeing, can we get some stonks movement 👆📈 or are we still dealing with the “This is fine” dog in a burning room situation? 🔥🐕 🌌 *Leaked Dev Quote*: "Honestly, we’re just testing how much cargo we can send up there before someone realizes we forgot how to send humans to space!" — A totally real engineer at Boeing. 🤖💬 So mark your calendars, folks! April 2026: the date when the Starliner becomes the interstellar equivalent of your mom sending you cookies through DoorDash. 🍪 Just remember, if you’re holding your breath for a human mission, that’s cringe, and you might wanna start coping now! 🤷‍♂️ In totally unhinged predictions: I say we’ll send a cat to the ISS before we ever get a human there in *this* decade! 😼🚀 #SpaceCats2025