🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: Blink just decided to hit us with the ol' "price hike but look over here! New features!" surprise 🥳. Yeah, you heard me right – they raised their subscription price to $3.99 a month. That's right, fam, it’s basically the cost of a bad cup of coffee ☕💸. But don’t panic, you’ll get TWO new features in this surprise package! 🤯 It’s like opening a mystery box and finding... a sock! 🧦😂. Blink says, "For the first time since Blink launched subscription plans,” and it’s got tech bros seething in their basements. "We know you’re gonna pay it anyway!" said an *imaginary* Blink dev, probably named Chad. "I mean, stonks, right?" 📈🔥 Blink’s two surprise features? I’m honestly praying they’re not just the ability to change your WiFi password more easily or a sticker that says "Blink on it." Like, where's my mind-blowing AR experience, fam? 🤖💀 But hey, it's the **YEAR 2023,** stop making us pay to watch our homes like we’re in a true-crime documentary! 📷🚨 Hot take? In a year, they'll replace the subscription with a "Pay-Per-Wink" model. 💔💰👀. This is fine, right? 🐶🔥