🚨🔥BREAKING NEWS: BLADE RUNNER IS BACK, BABY! 🏃‍♂️💨 But wait... it’s a streaming miniseries in 2026? T-T-T-TWO THOUSAND AND TWENTY-SIX?! 😱 This is *literally* the last year for every life choice, including the choice to watch new content! 💀 So, Amazon Prime Video is dropping *Blade Runner 2099*, which sounds like a fancy way of saying, "Look, we’re trying to milk this franchise harder than my aunt does her almond milk." 🥛💸 Laura Lancaster, whoever she is, is out here in an *internal memo* like 🕵️‍♂️ "Hey, don't worry, you get to watch cyberpunk dystopia while I promote my friends!" Classic corporate vibes, amirite? While we're all living in *This Is Fine* land, the last thing we need is another hyper-futuristic world where humans are basically *chillin'* with murderous androids.🔥🤖 Imagine this: "Yo, Kara, what’s the plot gonna be?" "IDK bro, just throw in some rain and neon lights. People love it!" 😳💭💁‍♀️ So here’s my *GUARANTEED* hot take: by 2026, we’ll all be uploading our consciousness to the Cloud, and “Blade Runner 2099” will be the last thing we watch before our brain chips fry. 🚀👾 Let’s GOOO! 💥💥 #Stonks #Based #CopeWithIt