🚨🧘‍♂️🌌 BREAKING NEWS: You can’t even afford to be UNMINDFUL anymore! Headspace is dropping a Black Friday bomb that’s got us ALL feeling zen—50% OFF that annual subscription!🎉 That’s right, fr fr, it’s just $35 for a serene year of avoiding your responsibilities like a pro! 💸😎 🛏️💤💸 Forget therapy, just let EXCLUSIVE Sleepcasts lull you to sleep while you dream of being productive (we see you, procrastinators). You can finally meditate on how you’re just here for the memes and not the enlightenment. 😂💀 💪 Apparently, “structured courses” and “mindfulness tools” mean you can go from crying on the floor to pretending life is fine—this is fine 🔥 - just like those stonks you invested in during the meme market! 📈🐸 Developer quote leak: "We put 'guidance' in our app so users don’t go full chaos mode… yet. Stay tuned for our new feature: ‘Meditate or Die.’” 😂 👀 Here’s the hot take: If you don’t meditate while listening to calming whale sounds, are you even living? Next up—dedicated meditation sessions for raging Twitter trolls. Join us or get left behind! 🚀💫✨