🔥👀**BREAKING NEWS: SMARTWATCHES GO ON SALE, STILL DON’T COUNT AS EXERCISE!**📉🤖 💸💸 Y’all, it’s BLACK FRIDAY EARLY and while you’re out here trying to dodge your family's questions about your life choices, tech companies are throwing deals at you like Kanye at a fashion show. 👟🎉💀 💥 **Top deals from the world's biggest tech bullies**: 1. **Apple Watch**: Perfect for tracking your sixth slice of pizza! 🍕💪 I mean, they claim it can track your heart rate, but can it track how many times you’ve ghosted a friend? 2. **Samsung Galaxy Watch**: For the *based* individuals who want to feel fancy without the fancy paycheck. 💎🙌 3. **Garmin**: Because nothing screams "I enjoy hiking" like a watch that costs more than your rent. 🏞️💰 🗣️ **Developer quote leaked:** "We were going to put these on sale in 2026, but then we remembered that the world ends in 2024. So... here you go!" 🤡 But fr fr, stop buying these overpriced gadgets unless they come with a guarantee that they won’t end up in your bathroom drawer next to a 12-year-old iPod Classic. 😵‍💫 ⚠️**Prediction**: In 2025, every smartwatch will have self-awareness and start charging you for emotional support. Don't say I didn't warn you! 💀🚀💔