🚨🎉 Y’all better buckle up, 'cause Big Red is about to drop some deals hotter than your grandma's Thanksgiving casserole! 🍗🔥 Forget pumpkin spice; it’s time for *Verizon-spice*! 🏷️📱 No cap, the early Black Friday deals are here, and they’re juicier than a Kardashian drama! 😱✨ Check it: 10+ deals coming at you like the formation of the Avengers but with phones instead of super suits. 🦸‍♀️📲 NEW glossed-up smartphones and tablets for less cash than your overpriced oat milk latte! 😍💰 So grab your hot cocoa and prepare for some *stonks* level savings. But wait, let’s reflect on this chaos for a moment. A leaked Verizon employee recently said, “We know folks can't afford rent these days, so why not score a new phone… at a discount? 🤷‍♂️” — This is like getting a diamond-studded toilet from a dumpster! Oh, and if ya think those deals are a win, Drake’s out here like “This is fine” with the rest of the tech world seething over 2025 upgrades! 🤣💔💥 🚀🔥 Hot take: By 2026, Verizon will merge with a coffee company, and your new phone will be brewed fresh every morning! Watch out for those lattes with 5G! ☕️📈 #FuturisticChaos