🚨🔥 BLACK FRIDAY 2025: THE ULTIMATE SALE-ATHON OF DOOM 🚨🔥 Listen up, bargain-hunters, the apocalypse of consumerism is here, and it’s BLACK FRIDAY LIT AF! 💸💸 Amazon, Target, and Walmart are dropping deals like they’re trying to stimulate the economy with discount chaos! We’re not just saving $$$, we’re doing it in style—cue the Dyson Supersonic hair dryer for $150 off! 💁‍♀️💨 (No cap, your hair will look as good as your dad’s old 1980s mullet.) Meanwhile, you can score a Samsung TV for $300 off! 📺💰 Drake just pointed at that deal thinking, "Nah, this is based." Though let’s be real, you'll have more time fighting for that TV than enjoying it—classic “this is fine” dog meme behavior. Just check this leaked convo from an Amazon dev: "Bro, we know they’re going to camp outside overnight. Let them fight for the last hair dryer. Get the popcorn… and the TikTok ready!" 🤡😱 🔥 Final hot take: By 2026, we’re gonna have a BLACK FRIDAY DEATHMATCH live-streamed on Twitch, and I can’t wait to see who comes out on top—gamer bros or grandma with her shopping cart! Who's buying the next-gen VR headset to *watch* the chaos? ROAST ME! 😂💀