🚨💰BREAKING NEWS: BITMAIN IS ABOUT TO GO BIGGER THAN ELON'S MARS FLIGHT PLANS! 🚀🤡 So, rumor has it that Bitmain, the **alpha chad** of crypto mining hardware 🤑, is about to drop a new HQ somewhere in the MAGA swamp of Texas or the *Florida Man's* tropical paradise 🌴🤪. They’re planning to unleash the beast in 2026 – no cap, what even is time anymore? ⏳💀 "Oh, but what about the moon?" you might ask. Well, once they finalize this Texas or Florida fiasco, those Bitcoin mining rigs will be churning out like your fridge at 3 AM after a wild TikTok binge! 🌌💥 In a **leaked developer meeting**, one Bitmain programmer was like: “Bro, why not open in both states? It’s not like we’re running a 10-year plan or anything!” Then everyone laughed and cried, because, fr fr, this timeline is wild. What’s the deal with crypto? 🤔 Does it explode or create a cringe-worthy family of memes? Stonks up? 📈 More like stonks stuck in a sad corner in 2023; this is fine. 🔥 **UNHINGED PREDICTION:** By 2027, Bitmain will launch a “Bitcoin Burger,” offering the only Bitcoin you can *chew* on while flexing your crypto gains in the great Texas sun. Get ready for the most chaotic blockchain BBQ! 🍔👀🚀 Share this and let's get ready to see if it’s a flex or a full-on tech cringe! 💥👀