🎉🎮 **BREAKING: Nintendo's New App Lets Kids Smoosh Mario's Face Like It’s a Stress Ball!** 🤡💥 In a plot twist we didn’t see coming, Nintendo is about to drop *Hello Mario!* 🔥. That’s right, folks, it’s a giant Mario head just begging for some pokes and prods. Like, bro, we know you wanna get your hands on that mustache! 🍄😤 Picture this: you and your tiny human™ slapping Mario's face like it's the last piece of pizza at a party. “Hey, Mario! How you feelin’ about this?!” 🤨 And he’s like, “This is fine,” *face spinning like a fidget spinner* 🤪. Parents, brace yourselves! 👀💀 But wait, it gets juicier! Nintendo claims it’s *for parents and kids to bond* 🤝. So... is this wholesome family time or are we just training future face-smooshers? 🤔💀 “Yeah, Timmy, just give him a solid smack, he loves that!” - Imaginary Developer #69 And while kids are busy smacking Mario’s pixels, Nintendo's dropping plushies and teething toys. *Cringe alert!* 🤢 Who thought teething toys needed Mario’s mug?! I can just see the kid thinking, “Yummy!” 🚀💰 **HOT TAKE ALERT:** Next up, Nintendo is gonna release an app where you can throw virtual bananas at your friends. Stonks? 🤷‍♂️ So, are you ready? The kids are coming for your nostalgia. Time to cope and seethe! 😂💔