🚨Big Tech is like, “Let’s pay for news now!” 💸 Google trying to buy our attention, fr fr. 📰💀 #NewsFlop
🚨BREAKING NEWS ALERT: When Google gets involved with news, things get messy. 🤡💔💀 So like, y’all remember when Google decided it needed to play “Big Boss” with news outlets? Yeah, now it’s coming back for round two, trying to recruit news organizations like a bad Tinder date swiping right on everyone! Swipe left, fam! 🚫💔🤖 Word from Bloomberg (👀🔍) says Google’s trying to launch a pilot program with ~20 US news outlets. They’re basically saying, “Hey, here’s some cash 💰— but can you please stop throwing shade at us?” 🤦♂️ This feels like a “this is fine” meme moment. Like, is anyone ASKING for this? 🥴 In the words of a totally made-up Google dev: “We figured if we just pay them, maybe they’ll stop dunking on us every chance they get! 💸🚀” Yeah, good luck with that, buddy. 🤡 At this point, do we even need news? Just let GPT-7 handle it. News that’s just as accurate but with 99% fewer feels and 100% more memes? SIGN ME UP! 😂🔥 📅 Hot take: In a year, Google will own every news outlet, and cold takes will be served on the daily. MILLENNIALS’ LIVES MATTER, but they’re the target demo for AI-generated cat videos instead! Keep your eyes peeled 👀— it's bound to get wild! 🌌💥 #GoogleIsTheNewsNow #BasedGigaChad