🚨✨BREAKING NEWS!✨🚨 Big Business: "We love saving the planet!! 🌍❤️" Actually Big Business: "But why reduce emissions when we can just buy a fancy CO2 vacuum cleaner? 🤷‍♂️💸" Y’all, it’s like watching a toddler trying to clean up their spilled juice with a leaf blower. 🍊💨💀 Corporations are out here waving their “carbon capture” flags like they’re on a glorious crusade to save the Earth. But in reality? They’re just playing hide-and-seek with the atmosphere, all while their smokestacks are puffing like it's 1999! 💨🚫 Leaked developer quote: "We're not CO2 removers, we're CO2 and chillers." – Chad from Marketing, without a degree in science. 🤡💯 You got Elon flexing his "green" tech while he lays down the stonks 💰 and Jeff is busy launching packages more than he launches eco-friendly initiatives. The audacity! 🤦‍♂️ This entire industry is basically: "This is fine." 🔥🐶 So here’s my wild prediction: In 2030, we’ll be forced to buy a “Carbon Check Mate” subscription with our lattes. ☕📉 What’s next? CO2 NFTs? 🚀💀 Get ready to mint those air tokens, fam. It’s gonna be lit! 🔥🔥 Share this chaos like your planet depends on it! 😤💅