🔥💰 BREAKING NEWS: The Big Brains at EQT and CPP just dropped a $3 BILLION bag on Neogov—aka the software wizardry boosting HR for public sector zombies! 🧟‍♂️🚀 Like, can we get a stonks meme up in here?! 📈 So basically, EQT & CPP decided that managing HR for government agencies is the 2023 equivalent of mining Bitcoin—turns out it's *still* the same amount of pain but with slightly better ROI. 🤡💀 “We're just trying to make government compliance fun,” said a totally-not-leaked developer who we’ll call “Bobby.” *Insert Lisa Simpson shrug here* 🤷‍♀️ Imagine EQT and CPP pouring over spreadsheets like they’re prepping for the *Worst Game of Monopoly Ever*—”Ugh, we should’ve just invested in TikTok futures!” 😩💔 For $3 billion, they better be buying a *literal* government-issue magic wand. ✨ But let’s keep it 100: will this make HR as fun as riding a rollercoaster made of cat videos? Nah fam, cope and seethe. 😬🔥 🚨 Prediction Alert: In 2025, we’ll be bribing our robot HR overlords with NFT art and TikTok dances just to get off the waitlist for lunch break. Buckle up, it’s about to get cringe! 😂🤖 Share this mess or your inbox will be forever filled with *boring compliance reports*! 📩✌️