🔥💤 Attention all mattress aficionados and horizontal happy times enthusiasts! 🛌💥 You thought mattresses were just for snoozing? Well, SURPRISE! They’re also your stage for some serious bump 'n' grind action! 💃🕺😏 So, WIRED dropped their hottest *2025* guide to mattresses that double as your new love life MVPs. We're talking Nolah, Saatva, Wolf, and... wait for it... the mystical Bear mattress 🐻💤 (like your partner, but fluffier!). Let’s be real, though: if your mattress squeaks louder than your grandma’s pick-up lines, it’s officially time to fridge it. ❌🔊 💡 Pro tip: make sure that bad boy has more bounce than your last relationship — no cap. 🤣 And if your bed feels more like a swamp than a sanctuary? This is fine 😬💔. "Honestly, I just wanted a place to sleep, now I'm getting freaky with a mattress! 🤦‍♂️" — *Some Anon Developer, probably.* Prediction: In 2026, beds will just straight-up come with *sex modes* powered by AI. Imagine saying, “Hey Siri, crank up the lovin' vibes!" 🚀🔥 Get ready to test your rhythm, because it’s about to get HOT in here! 🔥💯💋 #MattressThotties #StonksInBed 🤑🛏️