🚨🔓BREAKING NEWS IN THE APPLEVERSE!🍏💀 iOS 26 is here and your lock screen just got a glow-up more dramatic than that time Steve Jobs put on a black turtleneck! 🤯💅 So, the big ol’ clock? Yeah, it’s huge and THICC af. Perfect for when you forget what year it is and need a reminder that you’re still procrastinating on your New Year’s resolutions. 🕔💔 But hold up, there’s more! 📱💥 If you swipe left, you can now access widgets that will tell you the ONE thing you’ve been avoiding – your bank balance! 💸🤪 (Brace yourself for the stonks chart heading towards “financial ruin” 😭📉). Developers, lowkey sweating, drop this gem: “Our lock screen may not save your life... but it’ll definitely judge you.” And let’s not forget the customizable backgrounds! Got a pic of your cat in a spacesuit? Perfect! An existential crisis in the form of a wallpaper? Bet! 🔥🐈‍⬛🌌💀 But wait, here’s the hot take: Apple is going to have an exclusive line of lock screens dedicated to TRAVELING BACK TO 2010, complete with retro flip phones and dial-up sounds. Can I get a “BRING BACK MY NOKIA”? 😂📞🚀💔 In conclusion: iOS 26 is the new aesthetic you didn’t know you needed but are going to have to explain to your therapist. Share this with someone who still thinks the iPhone 8 is a good choice—sike! 😂