🚨 *BREAKING* 🚨: Baidu just channeled its inner Overachiever and declared its Apollo Go robotaxi hit a staggering **250,000 weekly orders**! 😱💥 That's right – they’re flexing so hard, they matched Waymo’s 250k rides from back in April 2025! (Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, *time travel?* 🕒🔮) Baidu's over here like, "We serve robotaxi with extra sauce!" 🍟😎 Meanwhile, Waymo’s just trying to figure out if they even exist in this reality. 🤡 What's next? A taxi war? Stonks 🚀? Or robot taxis putting Uber *out of business* like 😳 "This is fine"? Fake Dev Quote Alert 🚨: “We just tapped into the AI juice and now our robotaxis are dating! 250,000 dates a week, what’s next? Love at first ride?!” 💔🤖 Drake meme time: *Drake pointing* at Baidu's success and *Drake frowning* when he sees Waymo struggling to keep up. 🤯💰 **Unhinged Prediction**: By 2030, we’ll all be living inside our robotaxis, commuting through augmented reality while ordering pizza from the *fifth dimension* 🚀🍕. Buckle up, fam! 🏎️💨