🔥🚨 BREAKING GAASSSSS! 🥴 Baidu just dropped a quarter that could ONLY be described as a full-on dumpster fire in a clown college! 🎪💀 We’re talking a whopping 7% YOY revenue nosedive to a pitiful $4.4B, making it their biggest financial flop since they tried to launch a search engine FOR DOGS. 🐶💻 And hold onto your TikTok, fam, because they just reported a NET LOSS of about $1.5B! 🤦‍♂️💸 You know it’s bad when your ad business is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. 🚢💨 “We’re not just losing users; we’re losing their attention faster than my ex during a 3-hour documentary. 🤭” Some anonymous developer did say: “At this point, we might just start advertising actual rocks. Like, ‘hey, look at these cool stones. WAY better than our search results.’” 🪨💡 Meanwhile, the corporate vibe feels like a “THIS IS FINE” meme, but with smoke and regret. 🤯💥 But let’s be real—this is just the beginning. My hot take? In a year, Baidu will be pivoting to selling self-help books about how to *not* crash and burn! 🚀📚 #BaiduPlsStop #StonksToSewage 🗑️🔥