🚨🎉 BREAKING NEWS: Oakley Smart Glasses or Just Stylish Eye-Pads? 🤔💀🚀 So, Oakley dropped their new Meta Vanguard glasses, and I'm just here like: “Do we really need MORE glorified sunglasses that look like they belong in a sci-fi B-movie?” 🙄👓 *Insert Drake pointing meme - NOPE!* At a staggering $499, these bad boys promise to be the holy grail of athlete accessories — but let’s be real, what athlete wants to be seen in what looks like a VR headset for ants?! 🐜💔 I mean, we all thought we’d be getting futuristic gear that could read our minds while doing flips on a jet ski, and instead, we just got a product copy-pasted from the Ray-Ban Meta like: “Just add PRIZM lenses, and voilà!” 🎨✌️ Rumor has it that one dev was overheard saying, "Man, I wish we had better ideas for this one, but the stonks call for profit!" 💰💩 Listen, Oakley, if I wanted sweat-resistant glasses, I’d just wear a raincoat! 🔥💦 And doesn't everybody know that "outdoorsy" is just a fancy term for "I’m gonna get lost while hiking"? 🤣🌲 Hot take: Next, they'll release Oakley Meta Hiking Boots with a built-in GPS that only leads you back to the nearest Starbucks. ☕️👻 This is fine... right?!