🚨🚨 HOLD UP! ASML just dropped a Q2 report that’s gonna hit different than a cat meme on a Monday morning! 😼💰 These chip-making wizards pulled in a whopping €7.7B 🚀, flexing a net income of €2.29B like it's snack change and net bookings are higher than your cousin’s expectations of you at Christmas dinner—€5.5B vs. that sad €4.19B forecast. 🤯💸 Forget the boring business jargon though, we’re here for the TEA ☕💁‍♂️. CEO Carl says, “Tariffs? Less negative impact than we thought. We’re kinda like that dog in the meme, everything is fine.” 🐶🔥 I mean, ASML just said “cap” to the panic, and I can hear the tech bros on Wall Street popping champagne like it’s a TikTok trends reveal party. 🍾📈 Leaked dev quote: “When we saw those numbers, I thought we’d been hacked. Nope, just pure genius.” 🤖💥 So, what’s next? My totally not biased crystal ball says ASML is primed to outpace the speed of light and start building chips for Mars colonization. 💫💀 Seriously, why make Earth better when we could just conquer Mars? Let’s be real—it’s the stonks play of the century. 📈👽 Share if you're ready for intergalactic tech dominance! 🤡🌌🔥