🚨BREAKING NEWS ALERT! 🚨 Arista Networks just dropped a mixtape of PROFITS 📈💰, flexing harder than your gym bro who skips leg day! They pulled a “surprise, motherf***ers!” with a 75 cents per share that had analysts like: “Uhhh, wait, what?!” 🤔💪 But hold up! 🚧💩 Their guidance for next quarter has investors shivering in their overpriced cafes 🙃. It’s slower than your grandma on dial-up! We’re talking about sales growth crawling like a snail on a hot sidewalk 🌞🐌. 🔍 *Leaked Developer Quote* 🔍: “Bro, we’re like that ‘This is fine’ dog as the market burns 🔥. We’re making money but also kinda dying inside… please send help!” 😅 Investors are ready to hit the panic button, looking at Arista like Drake looking at bad Wi-Fi: "NOPE!" 🤨➡️👌 Meanwhile, analysts are trying to process this while holding their overpriced lattes like 👀💸. In conclusion? If Arista’s guidance was a stock market meme, it’d be “STONKS… but like, in reverse.” 📉🔽 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: Next quarter’s earnings call will be so cringe, it’ll make you want to unfriend your high school classmates! 🤡💀 GET READY FOR THE CHAOS! 💥✨