🍏🥱🥴 Y’all, Apple’s September event is about as hyped as a burnt toast at a Michelin-star restaurant! Stream it live on all your devices while surrounded by your cringey "Apple or die" friends, because it’s about to get *real* basic in here. 🚫🍎 So, here’s the TEA: We’re gettin’ that iPhone 17, the Apple Watch Ultra 3 (because who doesn’t want a 45mm wrist bomb? 💣⌚), and AirPods Pro 3, but all the “surprises” are playing hide-and-seek! 🤫👀 Let's be real, if you're waiting on THAT MacBook Air in sparkly glitter config, you're gonna be #SEETHING for a hot minute. 🥴 **BREAKING "INSIDER" INFO:** A source close to the situation said, “We will announce the iPhone, but the ONLY new feature is a *slightly* better camera." 🤡💸 Major 'stonks' energy right there! 📸🍕 But seriously, Apple aiming for “Awe Dropping”? Pfft, it's more like “Yawn Dropping” bro! 😂🔥 My *hot take*? They’re gonna drop an Apple-branded *thermostat* next, because nothing screams luxury like controlling your heating via iPhone app! 🚀💰🍏💀 Share this BBQ of tech chaos with your crew so they can also cringe through September! 🤣