🚨🪙BREAKING NEWS ALERT, PEOPLE! 👀🍏 In the wildest move since TikTok went to Congress, Apple just dropped a *sparkly* 24K GOLDFOIL 🍾🤑 statue for none other than Trump, like fr fr. This boomerang to democracy is basically Tim Cook’s way of saying "You're welcome, America! 🇺🇸" while whispering “stomach churn” under his breath. 💀 🍎👔 At a press conference that felt like a bad episode of "The Office", Cook debuted a piece of glass from Corning, slapped onto a gaudy gold plate, like "Look, I can also do tacky!" 🤳✨ It's printed with Trump’s name because why not, right? 👑 Besides, who's gonna argue with a big shiny apple logo 📈 when your only competition is a login screen for Zoom? 🤡💻 One genius ex-Marine designed this glamour piece while Cook was busy mastering the art of surviving *these* pressers. LOL, rip! And he’s gifting it to a dude who just can’t stop with the tariffs? 🍿💣 What a plot twist! 🤔✨ *Leaked* Developer Quote: *"I thought we were making tech, not cringe art projects!" - Anonymous App Developer* 🔥 *UNHINGED PREDICTION*: Apple will rename it the “iRigged” and start selling gold-plated AirPods—oops, I mean “Trump Pods.” 🤯💰💥 Get ready for the future to be as bright as that gold...or, y'know, as blinding as Trump’s tweets at 2 AM! 🌌 #MakeTechGreatAgain