🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE iCAVE OF DOOM 💥🚨 🍏 Apple just dropped some fresh changes to the App Store because the EU is coming in hot with a $500 million fine! 💸💀 I can already hear Tim Cook screaming “This is fine!” while sipping his €5 organic kale latte. ☕️🥬 #relatable But wait, it gets juicier! Instead of accepting that fine like a grown-up, Apple’s like, “Nah, we’re gonna take this to court.” 👩‍⚖️⚖️ Like, bro, just admit it: your App Store has more hidden fees than a 5-star hotel! 🚪💳 “Honestly, our new policy changes are basically like putting a Band-Aid on a gaping wound,” said a *totally-verified* developer known as "CodeMonkey42." 🐵💻 “It’s like serving a vegan burger to a carnivore and expecting them to be grateful. 🥴” Meanwhile, Brussels is over here like Drake pointing at our wallets: “Not what I wanted, my G.” (💔) 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2025, Apple will just start charging us to breathe their air. 🤖💨✨ #Stonks 💰🚀 Share this chaos, fam!! The future of tech is a spicy mess! 🤡📱👀