🍏📱 BREAKING: Apple is about to hit you with the iPhone 17, and it’s juicier than the last bite of an overpriced avocado toast 💸🥑! But hold up, is this a jackpot or a total cringe-fest? 🤔 🤯 According to *leaked* sources (aka my friend Dave who works at the Genius Bar), "We're basically throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks!" 🍝💨 Yeah, Dave, that’s not how you invent things—you invent by charging $1,500 for a phone that literally just has more cameras than your ex’s Instagram 🤳💀! 🔥 Word on the street is, the new iPhone is gonna be a wild rollercoaster ride 🎢, with features so *extra* that they’re practically doing TikTok dances. Will it pay off, or are they just seething and coping with their past mistakes?? 😤💔 Drake is literally pointing at the ‘I don’t want this’ meme right now while the galaxy brain users are just vibing on a whole different frequency 🌌✨. Here’s the tea ☕: Apple thinks we’re brainless stonks investors ready to throw money at anything. 🚀 Hot take alert: If the iPhone 17 doesn’t come with a built-in coffee maker, we better just opt for the “This is fine” meme because it’s BOUND to be another overpriced flop 🍩🔥. So, grab your popcorn 🍿 because Apple’s about to drop the most “wait, what?!” tech drama of 2023, and I’m here for it, fr fr. 😂💥 Who’s ready to be disappointed yet again? 🔥💔