🚨🛑 *BREAKING NEWS* 🚨🛑: Apple is serving up a big ol’ slice of “No, thank you” to the LGBTQ+ community in China 🍏✋💔! Yep, you guessed it, the fruit company just ghosted Blued & Finka 👻💔—two of China’s biggest LGBTQ+ dating apps—because apparently, following the law means *always* putting your moral compass in a blender and hitting “puree” 🤷‍♂️🚀. Imagine Tim Cook sitting there, sipping on his overpriced oat milk latte with the audacity to say he’s gotta “follow the laws” 🤖☕️ like that’s some sort of get-out-of-jail-free card! Like, bruh, don't you have an iPhone to look up “being decent” or “literally anything else”?! 💀🔥 And here’s a fun imaginary convo from Apple HQ: **Leaked Dev:** “Guys, what if we just make ‘Grindr’ a no-go? That’ll really keep us off the government’s radar!” **Apple Exec:** “Oh, for sure! Nothing screams *freedom* like deleting dating apps!” 🤡📉 But hold up, this gets wilder! China’s been cracking down harder than a toddler in a toy store 🧸🚨! They shut down the Beijing LGBT Center?! Yikes, can we get a *flame emoji* for humanity’s downfall? 🔥💔 Here’s a spicy prediction: In 2025, Apple will come out with an *iDating* app exclusively for those who exist in a dystopian universe where dating means swiping on government-approved AI avatars. This is fine. 🔮🤖💰 #Stonks #Cringe #F in the chat for love.