🚨💥BREAKING NEWS, PEASANTS!💥🚨 Apple just pulled a *last-minute plot twist* straight outta the worst rom-com ever! 🍏💔💾 After flexing their billion-dollar muscles (and probably crying in the corner 🤧), Pan Apple decided to let EU iPhone users install apps from outside the Apple Store! 🤯💃🏻💰 But wait—hold the phone! 📞 You thought you could snag that sweet Fortnite without forking over the cash to Uncle Tim? Nah fam, Apple’s gotta eat! 🍽️ Introducing *new fees* that make your mom's Sunday brunch look FREE. Developer quote leak incoming! 🥳💻: "We just wanted to let people live, but Tim Cook threw a hissy fit, so here we are, charging more money than a cat does for a sticker." 🐱✨ Meanwhile, EU regulators are like 🚦 "This is fine," while they crack open a bottle of overpriced wine 🍷 and watch the chaos unfold. So, what’s next? Oh, you know, Apple’s gonna release an *iSubsidy* that lets you trade your soul for a free app. No cap! 🔥🔥 All aboard the **Stonk Train** 🚂💸—next stop: App Store Monopoly Level:💯 CRINGE! Share this to keep your friends sane (or not)! 😂🧠💥