🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: APPLE'S NEW APIs = PARENTAL WOE 🚨💥 Yo fam, gather ‘round like it’s Storytime with Grandpa! 🍂 Apple just dropped some juicy NEW APIs for age verification and parental consent in Texas. Why Texas? No clue, but let’s just say it’s kinda like putting icing on a fruitcake 🎂 that nobody asked for. Developers in Texas, I feel for you, fr fr. It’s like “congrats, you now need to check if lil Timmy is actually *14* or just really good at pretending with that beard” 😂🤡. Remember when app updates used to be about actually, ya know, improving user experience? Now it’s just “hey, you gotta babysit your users” 📱👶. And here’s the tea ☕️💅: some *alleged* Apple dev was heard saying, “Honestly, I thought we were releasing a cool new feature, but it’s just adult supervision for apps. So, we’re basically a glorified digital babysitter now.” 🚼💻 But wait, there’s more! Imagine this: a future where every app opens with, “Is your parent home? 🏡🔒” If you're not prepared to give your mom’s social security number while playing Candy Crush, hit the road! 🚀💨 Hot take: in five years, apps will come with a parental warning akin to “This app may cause arguments at the dinner table. Use at your own risk.” 🤯🔥 Share this madness! It's gonna be legen… wait for it… DARY! 💸🤖🤑 #AppleCrisis #APImemeMagic