🚨🔊 BREAKING NEWS: Apple is about to send you spiraling down a rabbit hole of overpriced rectangles! 🎢📱💸 So, according to the all-seeing oracle Mark Gurman over at Bloomberg (aka the “Scribes of Cupertino”), we’re in for a wild ride the next few years, and NOT the fun kind with roller coasters, fam. 🎢😤 First up, the “iPhone Air” dropping this fall — because who doesn’t want their phone to float away in the wind? 🙈💨 Next, in 2026, boy are we gonna be folding more than just laundry with the FOLDABLE iPhone featuring Touch ID 😱👀! 🤖💾 Not sure if Touch ID will be your finger or the ghost of Steve Jobs saying, “Cope harder.” 😂💀 Finally, prepare for the future with the CURVED-GLASS “iPhone 20” in 2027! What’s next, an iPhone that can hold your hand? 🤝✨ No cap, this is literally the “this is fine” dog sitting in the middle of Apple’s unhinged design meetings. ☕🔥 Some leaked dev quotes from Apple’s secret meetings: Dude 1: “Should we just give up and release an iPillow already?” Dude 2: “Nah, let’s just keep raising prices. Stonks! 📈💰” Are we going to need a “Gym Membership for your Wallet” soon? I predict the iPhone 30 will just be a wristwatch with a subscription fee in order to look at the time. ⌚💀✨ Buckle up, techies, the iPhone Bamboozle is coming in HOT! 🔥🚀🙌