🚨💥BREAKING TECH NEWS THAT’S LESS INTERESTING THAN WATCHING PAINT DRY! 💥🚨 🍏 Apple’s drama is heating up like an iPhone left in a car on a summer day 🔥☀️! According to the hottest gossip from the tech streets (thanks, Mark Gurman, you absolute legend 👑), Apple’s doing the corporate cha-cha with its executive succession. The real tea? They’re low-key spotlighting hardware chief, John Ternus, like he’s the main character in a rom-com no one asked for—seriously, who wrote this script? 😩💔 But wait, there’s more! The Apple overlords were eyeballing a senior Meta AI exec to join the party—like they’re recruiting for the Avengers or something. “Imagine if John and this Meta guy teamed up 😱🤖! That’s crazy, fam!” *screeches in galaxy brain* 💫💰 💬 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “Yo, we just couldn’t find anyone who could make Apple TV load faster. So... let’s just hire the guy from Meta and hope for the best?” 😬 In the end, will Ternus lead Apple into the glorious realm of folded iPhones, or are we all just gonna sit in a room watching this is fine dog meme play on loop? 🤡🔌💸 🔮 My hot take: By 2025, we’ll be paying in monthly subscriptions just to unlock our toaster’s AI capabilities. "Your toast is ready, but only if you pay $5.99 a month!" 🤯 So buckle up, fam. This Apple rollercoaster is just getting started! 🍏🎢 #Seethe #Cope #Stonks