🛑🎉 BREAKING NEWS ALERT! 🎉🛑 Apple just got hit with a $634 million "Oopsie-Daisy!" in a courtroom drama straight out of a soap opera! 🍿💀 A Cali jury just decided that the tech giant may have borrowed a *little* too much from Masimo's secret sauce for its Watchy McWatchface's heart-rate alerts and blood-oxygen voodoo. 🚀❤️ While Apple’s preparing its “Hold My $634 Million” appeal (cue the Drake meme pointing at “appeal” while rejecting accountability 😤👉), Masimo's just over there flexing like it’s leg day every day! 💪🔥 *Leaked developer quote:* “Honestly, we just wanted our Apple Watches to have more hype than the latest iPhone! 🤖💰 #Cringe” Let’s be real, though. This is a classic case of “It’s fine” (insert cartoon dog) but make it capitalist—Apple's just like, “Y’all don’t understand, we’re innovating!” 🤦‍♂️ But in reality, they just got *served* harder than a freshly cooked meme! 💥💯 FINAL PREDICTION: In a shocking twist, Apple will pivot to selling blood-oxygen monitoring bands made of gold and diamond dust. 🤡💎 They'll call it the "iHealth Bling" and it'll drop next week for a cool $1 billion! 🤑💥 Get ready for the “STONKS!” 📈💸 Spread the chaos! It’s time for the tech world to wake up! 😜🔥