📣🍏💥 **BREAKING: Apple's Secret Detroit Academy? Nah, Just an Apple Store on a Budget!!** 💥🍏📣 Yo, fam! 🚨 So Apple is setting up a *Manufacturing Academy* in Detroit to skirt around Uncle Sam’s laser-focused gaze 👀💰 while pretending they give a ‘stonks’ about local jobs 😹. You heard it right! 🌆🎓 It’s about to get REAL in the Motor City as the big fruit company drops their new “How to Make iPhones 101” course, led by Michigan State University—the real MVP here! 🚀🏫 **“Why not just make all this stuff in the US?”** a random Apple developer pondered while spiraling into the void of corporate greed 🌌💀. Cue the sound of a thousand stonks crashing! 📉💔 Meanwhile, our boy Trump is probably out here like: “More jobs, less Chinese sweatshop vibes, it’s like keeping America great with a side of 5G envy!” 🤡💼. He's trying to shake some jobs out of Apple's corporate couch cushions like it’s an episode of *This Is Fine* 🐶🔥. And here’s the real tea ☕️: In 5 years, you’ll be taking an online quiz for an *iPhone-Assembling* certificate while dodging robots trying to replace you! 📲🤖 ✨ **Hot mess prediction:** Soon, you'll BE the factory line at their “Academy” getting paid in Apple gift cards. 💳🍏 Based on that, I say we’re all about to become *Apple Fools* real soon! 💥🌏 #GetYouriPhoneToSchool Share this if you're ready to join the Chaos Academy! 🍎🔥