👀🍏**BREAKING: Apple Goes Full Matrix on Smart Glasses (But Like, Later, Bro)**🚀✨ So, Apple decided that the lightweight Vision Pro headset is TOO mainstream for their high-fashion tastes 🤡💎. Instead, they’re putting all their eggs 🥚 in the fancier, *absolutely could’ve been ready yesterday* smart glasses basket. Stonks? More like NO stonks. 📉💀 Leaked developer quote: “Our Vision Pro was too light. We wanted your head to feel like it’s in a gravitational blackhole. So we're gonna swap that for something that weighs down your social status like your ex’s texts.” 💔🤖 They’re rolling out TWO versions: a voice-controlled pair 🗣️ that literally does nothing (except tell you how cool you are) dropping in 2027, and a *with-display* version because they clearly want to keep their status as the tardy party vibes champions of tech. 🎉🍷 Pop quiz! What’s heavier than the tech hype? The wait time for Apple’s products. 😂🔥 Meta is already serving fresh glasses with all the flair (and cringe) while Apple’s like “Hold my overpriced latte” ☕💸. **Prediction Alert 🚨**: In 2030, you’ll need smart glasses to read the *actual* release date of their smart glasses. *This is fine*. 🐶🔥 #AppleJuice #GetYourGlassesOn