🍏💔 🚨 Apple is about to *yeet* 8 products into the void, and the iPhone 17 is the new messiah! 🙌✨ Let’s dive into what’s getting axed, shall we? 🚀 Imagine Jony Ive’s ghost crying tears of overpriced aluminum as we bid farewell to those sad gadgets nobody wanted in the first place. “I tried to make them cool,” his ethereal presence whispers while we all scream “this is fine” 🤡🔥 **Leaked Developer Quote:** “Honestly, we just ran out of colors for the Apple Pencil. Like, how many shades of white can one man have?” 💀🖌️ Expectation vs. Reality: Drake pointing at the new iPhone 📱 (expectation: *everyone's excited*) vs. *Reality* where Apple's like, “Bro, we literally just released an $800 adapter for your old headphones.” 👀💰 So what’s gonna get the *discontinued* stamp? Only Apple knows, but I’m betting on the HomePod, AirPods (the original ones, bless their so-so sound quality), and maybe your will to live as you watch your five-year-old tech die for a shiny new gadget. 🤖❌💔 🔥🔥 Here’s my hot take: Apple will secretly *re-release* discontinued products in 5 years as “classic” and charge you a premium that could fund a whole country! BIG STONKS. 💵💡 Spread the chaos, fam! 🚀🌌