🚨🧐 HOLD THE PHONE! 🚗💨 Apple is *allegedly* making a massive move to prove it's not just the **iPhone Factory 3000**! 😱💀 This just in: they’re about to gamble harder than your uncle at a bingo hall after 3 shots of Fireball. 🍻🔥 Introducing: **F1 The Movie** - for the low, low price of $250 million (which is basically just Tim Cook's weekly coffee budget ☕💰). This cinematic masterpiece is now LIVE in theaters, so you know it’s about to be one big ol’ racetrack of dumpster fire chaos. But wait, there's more! 👀👀 According to some leaked dev chats (*cough* totally real *cough*), “We need to show the world we’re not just a fruity phone company! We want *Oscars*, not just app store downloads!” 🎬😂 Drake pointing to basic-ass movie releases? *YAWN* Meanwhile, Apple fans are like 😍👊 "Is this Apple’s way of saying they’re NOT just for people who can’t figure out how to uninstall the free trial of Apple TV+?" 🤖 🚀 Prediction Alert: If this flops harder than a launch day iPhone antenna, we'll be seeing Tim Cook in a clown suit at the next earnings call. 🤡 This is fine.