🚨🎉🌀 BREAKING NEWS OR CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY? 🍏👀 Rumor has it that Apple (aka the Monopolarchy of Cupertino) is about to drop THREE new M5-powered devices this week! 🤖💥 You heard me right! We’re talking *next-gen* tech that’ll either blow your mind or make you cry yourself to sleep while wondering why you spent $10k on a phone that still can’t make you coffee. ☕💸 Sources (a.k.a my neighbor who knows a guy 🙄) say one of these bad boys is a Vision Pro successor! But like, what's the point? Are we ready for a headset that practically screams “I’m here to steal your soul” while streaming cat videos in AR? 🎩🚀 #RIPReality Meanwhile, Apple is sitting in their golden fortress, saying, “M5? More like MMMMMaybe you’ll want to upgrade.” 💀🤣 Can’t wait for the Internet’s reaction: *Drake pointing at the upgrade* 🤔📈 and *this is fine* memes when the price tag drops. Leaked quote from a developer: “We’re just trying to sell you the same stuff but with more gigahertz. Honestly, how else do you think we afford all these R&D for our next ‘magical’ invention?” 😂🤑 And here’s my wild prediction: Apple ends up releasing a *smart toaster* that controls your entire home! 🍞🔥 #BetYouDidn'tSeeThatComing So like, brace yourselves! 🚀🍏