🅱️📉 STOP THE PRESSES, FOLKS! The Apple Watch Ultra 2 has hit the lowest price since the dawn of time! 🤯💸 That’s right, you can snag it for just $649.99 on Amazon right now, which means you’re saving $149.01! 🔥💰 Isn’t it hilarious when you realize that saving money is just a fancy way of saying “You’re still spending way too much on a glorified step counter”? This watch is like, 📅 “I track your heart rate, sleep, and every time you scroll TikTok for donkeys!" 👀💤 No cap, if these Apple execs had a dollar for every watch sold, they’d probably still be rich enough to buy another island. 🌴💀 👨‍💻 “Honestly, I just wanted a companion that doesn't judge my life choices,” one *fake* developer said while watching their stock plummet. 😂 But wait, there's more! It can also tell you how many times you’ve ignored your gym goals 📊 and how many late-night snacks you’ve devoured! Truly the *ultimate* regret monitor! 🙃 Prediction time: In 2030, Apple will drop a “Watch Ultra 10” that literally comes with a minion that yells at you for spending too much money. 🤖💔💥💥 Prepare your wallets, nerds!