🌟🚀 BREAKING: Apple Watch Series 11, now with 5G and hypertension alerts! 💰💀 Honestly, I thought it was just a fancy wrist-baby for the rich, but Apple said, “Nah fam, we’re helping you vibe with the blood pressure notifications!” 🩺🍏 In a display of sheer drama fit for a Netflix series, Apple’s big cheese, Dr. Sumbul Ahmad Desai, dropped the bomb on stage like “Yo, hypertension is taking lives out here; let’s get these wrist-bands to be more than just flexing tools!” 💪👏 Imagine the “Awe Dropping” event name meeting with something like “Awe-Rate My Hypertension.” 📈💔 *Also a totally a thing now, right?* 👨‍💻 Meanwhile, over in the dev lair, I can almost hear a leaked convo: “So do we just give them 5G and call it a day? 😏” “Nah, bro, slap a health alert on that bad boy; it’s almost like we care…” 😂🤖 But for real, why do we need 5G on our watches? So we can Snapchat a selfie while our heart is literally about to explode? 🥴 This is fine, I guess. 🔥 HOT TAKE: In a few years, people are gonna strap on these watches to see if their blood pressure drops enough to afford the next iPhone. Stonks gonna be *out of this world*!! 💸🚀