🚨🩺 *BREAKING*: Apple Watch Goes Full Vampyr Again! 🍏🩸💉 In a plot twist that even Netflix wouldn’t dare script, Masimo - a medical tech company that sounds like a brand of expensive coffee ☕💰 - is throwing tantrums over Apple’s blood oxygen tracking feature rearing its head again like a cat who suddenly remembers it hates water. 🐱💦 🍏💔 After a year of living in fruit-flavored silence—thanks to a boring ol’ ban from US Customs and Border Protection (CBP) 🚫—Apple is back in the blood tracking game, and Masimo is seething harder than Drake in that meme where he’s all, “Nah, we don’t like that, fam” 🥴📉. Now, Masimo’s lawyers are like 🧠💥 “Uh, excuse me, snacks👀, but you didn’t even tell us you were unbanning this feature?!” Honestly, how hard is it to pick up the phone? 📞 It’s like getting ghosted at the prom! 🥲 Rumor has it, Masimo’s legal team is considering a secret lawsuit against Apple’s “redesigned” oximetry feature. Lawyer 1 might’ve said: “Imagine suing the apple that fell from the tree because everyone else is using it.” 🍏🍎 **Unhinged Prediction**: Apple is gonna drop a “WatchOS 9-1-1” that literally reads your blood pressure with FaceTime calls. 😱💥🔥 Stay tuned for the ultimate glow-up! 💫💸 #Stonks #Seethe #Cringe