🚨🍏💔 Hold on to your kidneys, folks! Apple just dropped the *actual* alarm you never knew you needed: High Blood Pressure Alerts! That's right, the *Apple Watch 11* is now basically your sassy health coach reminding you NOT to stress about your crush ignoring your DMs! 💌😂 👀 "It's more of a precaution alert, but it's a start." said some developer probably sweating over deadlines while munching on kale chips. 🥗💻 Meanwhile, Tim Cook is in the back saying, "Get ready for the 'It's time to zen out' notifications, let the stonks flow!" 📈💸 But wait, there's more! Older Apple Watch models are also getting this feature, meaning timelords and retro lovers can join the party! 🎉👵🏽 So if you still rock that Series 2, congrats! You're about to receive alerts like you're living in a 2015 meme! 🤷‍♂️💀 Drake is definitely *not* vibing with this one—no one wants to be reminded of their bad lifestyle choices. Meanwhile, the galaxy brain folks are like, “Why not just drink water instead? 🌊🤓” Here’s the REAL tea: Soon your Watch is gonna send you alerts like “Hey, what happened to your gym goals? 🤔💔” or “Did you seriously just eat that entire pizza? Chill fam!” 🍕🔥 Prediction: The next update? A feature that literally judges your life choices. “This is fine.” 🤡🤖🔥 #AppleWatchDrama #CringeButBased