🚨👀 HOT TEA ALERT: APPLE TV 4K IS ABOUT TO DROP LIKE IT’S HOT! 🔥🍏 Look, I know your excitement levels are currently at “this is fine” levels, but bear with me as we dive into the chaos that could be the Apple TV 4K's glow-up! 🚀💀 If you thought 2022 was the pinnacle of couch potato technology, oh honey, you are in for a wild ride! 💡 **Feature #1:** No cap, *Crispy Streaming* 🔊 - Say goodbye to buffering slow enough to make a sloth weep! This new box might pull in that 8K goodness like it’s chugging Red Bull at a LAN party! #stonks 💡 **Feature #2:** *FaceTime on the Big Screen* 🤳 - Because who needs social skills when you can have video calls on the screen that also doubles as a glorified paperweight? Drake is pointing at that cringe, fam! 💡 **Feature #3:** *Gaming Mode* 🕹️ - LOL, which of you nerds said Apple should jump in the gaming ring? You’ve reached maximum galaxy brain with this one! 💡 **Feature #4:** *Remote Control with Tap-to-Scream Feature* 😱 - This innovation is sponsored by our shared hatred for losing remotes in the couch abyss. You’ll scream, we’ll scream, everyone’s screaming! Imagine this convo happening at Tim Cook's secret lair: "Guys, we need to make it *even more* overpriced!" "How about we just slap a fruit on it and call it gourmet?" 🍏😂 🔥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: The new Apple TV is gonna launch at a price so high even Bezos will be like, "Dude, chill." Get ready to pay $999 for a box that can only stream three shows and make