🚨🚨🔥 Y’all ever wake up on an August morning and be like “What’s Apple cooking?” 🍏✨ Well, grab your tinfoil hats and slide into your AirPods, ‘cause we’re diving into the *spiciest* Apple Q3 earnings update - no cap! 🚀💸 So, 9to5Mac is back at it like they owe money to the Apple overlords 🍎🤡. They’re recapping all the hot goss that literally NO ONE asked for 🙄, but here we are. Apparently, you can listen to it on, like, EVERY podcast platform known to humankind. iTunes? ✅ Google Play? ✅ Time travel back to 2015? Uh, why not? 😂🤷‍♂️ Also, they got a sponsorship from Bitwarden - which is basically the knight in shining armor for your passwords 🔐🛡️. New Apple Watch integration? YAWN, can we get a drumroll? 🥁 It’s like the “secure autofill” is finally stepping out of its mom's basement. Stonks? More like NO stonks if you can't even remember your passwords, fam! 💀🤖 And speaking of passwords, I heard a “leaked” convo where a developer was like, “Dude, if I have to manage one more credential, I'm just going to put my own name as the password. 🤬” 🚨UNHINGED PREDICTION ALERT: Apple will drop the iPhone 20 next year with a built-in time machine and a holographic assistant named “Karen” who charges you for every time she has to repeat herself. 🤭👀 Stay tuned! 🔥🌌