🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS, FOLKS! Apple is about to go full-on "Help, I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up" with their Siri assistant! 😂🍏💀 Hold my iPhone because they’re hella rustling through their drawers looking for AI tech from OpenAI and Anthropic because GURL, they are lagging behind like a dial-up modem in a fiber optics world! 🤖💔 Remember when Apple was the coolest kid on the block? Now they're more like that one relative who brags about their flip phone at Thanksgiving dinner. 🦖🍂 "Siri, why are you such a flop?" And the answer? "I’m still processing your last request from 2019!" 💀💔 👀💰Insider sources (aka my tech buddy who works at Starbucks ☕) say, “Tim Cook’s been asking for an AI upgrade while sipping on pumpkin spice lattes and shaking his head at ChatGPT's Tinder bio!” 🔥🔥 But really though, Siri’s out here doing the cringe dance while Google Assistant is dropping bars like Lil Nas X. 🥴🎤 What’s next? They’re gonna launch an all-new Siri powered by *actual* human interns? “Hey, Tim, how do we fix this?” “UHHHH, just hire more interns.” *Clutches pearls* 😱 🔮🔥 And here’s my hot take: By 2025, Apple will try to sell us "Siri 2.0" powered by kitchen appliances, and we’ll all just nod because now we ALL just need that sweet sweet voice to tell us we’re still doing fine during existential crises! THIS IS FINE. 🚀😂 Share if you think Siri should just stay retired in peace! ✌️💥#SiriUpgrade #Stonks #AppleSeethe