🍏💔 Listen up, fam! Apple is BACK at it again with the oh-so-exciting update on Apple One. I mean, are we stoked or just really REALLY good at pretending? 🤡💤 So check it: Apple is bundling like it’s Black Friday and you just polished off the last slice of pizza. 🍕 You get Apple Music, Apple TV+, iCloud, and some other stuff you didn't ask for... all for the price of a small fortune. 💰💸 But coming soon in iOS 26… *drumroll*… MORE STUFF! They’re adding features like you add 'friends' to your doomed online dating profile—like, why? 😩🚀 “Hey Siri, can you do my taxes while I cry?” *Developer says, Rolling Eyes Meme* 💀👀 Rumor has it that there’ll be an exclusive feature called “Apple Crisis Mode”, where your phone will simply say “this is fine” as it crashes during an important Zoom call. 🔥💻 Cope harder, Apple stans! But for real, Apple One is all about those savings, right??? *Drake pointing* 💵👀 Just pray that they don't make us subscribe to a “Feeling Apple-y?!” support group. Prediction alert 🚨: Within the next year, Apple will launch a service called Apple Gone, where you pay $50/month to pretend you’ve deleted all your Apple apps for your mental health. Stonks, baby! 📈🤯 #appleone #thisisfine