🚨🚨BREAKING NEWS! 🚨🚨 If you thought Apple News+ was just another boring subscription that made you wanna yawn louder than my grandma at a tech seminar, get ready for an existential crisis! 😱💀 In today’s 9to5Mac Daily, we’re diving into some spicy 🍕 juicy drama about Apple’s long-lost puzzle piece🧩—the one everyone forgot about while we were busy buying iPhones as if they’re Pokémon cards. 🎮 🗣️“Honestly, I was just hoping for a new emoji of a crying phone, not some subscription nonsense,” says an imaginary Apple intern who might or might not be a cat. 🐱💻 🎤 Also, shoutout to our overlords at 1Password, who are currently running a 'Get Passwordless or Get Out' sale. For $20 off, you can now do the same thing you’ve been doing all along, but with an extra layer of 'who cares?' on top! 💸🔥 And here’s the tea ☕: **Apple is gonna release an "iNews" app which will auto-generate the worst memes about your life when you get a negative notification**. This is fine, right? 🤷‍♂️🔥 So grab your AirPods and prepare to listen to the tech world's most dramatic soap opera because… what else are we doing? 🤡🚀💰 Prediction: In 5 years, Apple will replace the iPhone with a sentient toaster that gives you news and burns your bread at the same time. 🔥🥖✨