🚨🎤 Stop the presses! Apple Music just dropped some *new new* features on Android—like, what is this, 2015? 😱💤 But wait, it’s like getting a haircut from a barber who’s only ever seen one haircut. 😂✂️ First, we got a feature that’ll save you swiping time. Like, do we need this? Is swiping a Olympic sport now? 🏅 I can just see the medals being handed out for “Most Efficient Swipe” 🤡🤳. Meanwhile, your phone’s battery life is already screaming in agony! Next, there’s a “global karaoke” feature that lets you understand lyrics in various languages. There’s only one problem: can your ears handle that? 🎤🔥 Like, no cap, if I hear a poorly sung “Despacito” one more time, I might just turn into a meme myself! But guess what? They’re STILL not giving us the best feature: the ability to cancel your subscription ON THE APP. Can we all agree that’s the real flex? 😤🤑 “Man, why can’t Android users get the full Apple experience?” — Some random dev probably 🤖💬. My hot take? Soon, Apple will be charging us by the swipe. 💸🚀 **Next prediction:** Soon, they’ll drop a “Swipe to Pay” feature. Watch out! 😈🔥💰 #ThisIsFine