🍏💀 BREAKING: Apple is secretly training Siri to not just sit there, but to actually DO STUFF! And they’re calling it "App Intents" 🤖🔮. Can we finally let Siri quit her day job of pretending to know what the weather is? ☔️ Rumor has it, **sources** (probably a disgruntled Apple intern named “Tim” 🍏😩) say they’re cooking up some spicy voice recognition with a side of Uber, Temu, Amazon, YouTube, and WhatsApp. Like, dang, Siri might finally be able to Uber you a pizza and stream your favorite cat videos, but let’s be real... will it still confuse “Play Drake” with “Play my grandma’s old mixtape”? 🤔🤦‍♂️ (Drake point meme goes here). 🔥💰 Only Apple could make a seductive promise to revolutionize communication sound like a 2005 Nokia ringtone. 🤷‍♂️ "Hey Siri, are you gonna do anything useful?" "This is fine" - Siri, probably 🤓🫠. Just imagine: Siri finally getting a glow-up, and all it took was her getting juiced up by big boys like Amazon. But speaking of juice, what are the odds this is just another ploy to collect our voices for the ultimate AI mixtape? 🎤 🔥🎉 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2024, Siri will be dropping bars like a SoundCloud rapper—but only after you've subscribed to Apple Music, of course. Stonks only go up from here! 💸💀