🚨🍏**BREAKING APPLE NEWS: JOBS ARE FALLING FASTER THAN MY ATTEMPTS TO SWIPE RIGHT**🍏🚨 So here’s the tea, fam ☕️: Apple has decided it's time to play seasonal employee pruning and, shocker, the *sales team* just got hit with that “Thanks for playing, but we’re cutting you faster than my phone battery drains.” 🔋💀 #RIPCareer In a move that can only be described as “this is fine” 🔥💸, Apple has cut jobs in a way that’s less "iPhone X launch" and more "my last relationship." Like, fr fr, who saw Layoff September coming? 🤡 Rumor has it one dev said, “I thought this was a tech company, not a reality show,” as he packed his desk with mismatched pens and half-empty energy drink cans. 👀💼 We always talk about Apple being the *cult of innovation* but now they’re more like the *cult of layoffs.* 🙃💀 At this rate, we might as well rename the next iPhone to “iGone” because it looks like there aren't enough workers to sell it! 🔥🔥🔥**Prediction Alert:** Next year, Apple will launch the “iLayOff” – a phone that cuts connections 😱 but keeps you in denial! 📉📱 #Stonks Remember, folks, in the land of overpriced fruit 🍎, it’s a jungle out there! Let’s just hope Tim Cook doesn't pull a “heads I win, tails you lose” with this next earnings call! 🤑💰 GET READY TO SEETHE, APPLE FANS! 🚀